It’s midnight and our neighbour is snoring so loud that I can hear it THROUGH SEVERAL WALLS AND A SEPARATE APARTMENT GO AND SEE A DOCTOR
I just want everyone to know that all of the clothes I am wearing today are from Target, and in total I’m wearing 4 different sizes, and that is a perfect example why sizing for women’s clothing is fuckin’ bullshit.
"Fuck You, Old People" — Group Piece at CUPSI 2014
"By the way, you can’t actually pick yourself up by your own bootstraps. That’s now how physics works."
this gives me life….
"Act your fucking age" god damn, this has a good message here.
39 seconds in and I reblogged it
Marvel Comics is making Thor a woman. From Time Magazine:
TIME: How do you think this will impact fans who have been with the male version of Thor for such a long time?
Jason Aaron, writer of the Thor series: If you’re a long-time Thor fan you know there’s kind of a tradition from time to time of somebody else picking up that hammer. Beta Ray Bill was a horse-faced alien guy who picked up the hammer. At one point Thor was a frog. So I think if we can accept Thor as a frog and a horse-faced alien, we should be able to accept a woman being able to pick up that hammer and wield it for a while, which surprisingly we’ve never really seen before.
*doesn’t check bank account*
*pretends everything is fine*
"Orphan Black" or "a man named Felix begrudgingly, but lovingly, accepts a series of new sisters, each more frustrating than the last"
the only domestic instinct my parents have managed to pass on to me is the tendency to hoard multiple plastic bags in another plastic bags despite the fact that I will probably never need this many plastic bags in my adult life
You think you’re going to be hip and teen forever and then suddenly you find yourself drinking red wine and playing board games and lusting after men with beards
I think “dildo” is a perfectly acceptable insult. Like, I’d call you a dick but you’re not real enough.
Fun reproductive fact: you were not the fastest sperm
Other sperm start burrowing into the egg and die on the way in. You were an opportunistic sperm that waited for the others to die making it easy for you to burrow in.
Accurate summary of how Lana and I communicate
YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID AND NONE OF IT’S OKAY
you now that moment when you’re studying for exams and you’ve been at it for a couple days now and you just transcend out of your body and have a moment where your consciousness is actually separate and looking down upon you and thinking
'look at this lil bitch, you ain't helpin' nothin' you stupid mother fucker'